Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My new friend

I have made a lot of new friends these past few weeks. I am very happy to say this. Not that I felt short handed on friends, Don't get me wrong I've got friends for days! I've got friends that go beyond any expectation I could have ever had for friends! I've got friends that I can't even really call friends because they mean more to me than the title of friend can portray. You know who you are ;)

But there is this one new friend in particular that I am excited about. I've only known him for a very short time but he has stolen my heart....and at times my last nerve. His name is Alex. He considers himself to be "Pretty Old" The eloquent age of 6. I can't really argue with him either most things in my life that are 6 years old I consider to be pretty old as well. Like my bible or more than half of my wardrobe or like my addiction to soy chai lattes...pretty old.

My roommate and I met Alex while we were walking our dogs. He explained to us how he followed us home because he wanted to meet us and pet our dogs. So I guess you can say he is also a smooth talker. We met Alex about 3 weeks ago and not a day goes by when he doesn't come knocking on our door. He is relentless, this morning at 9am he rang the doorbell 13 times....instead of getting out of bed I chose instead to count how many times he would actually ring the bell. Lauren however answered the door and had a stern talking to him...she is really great with kids I love that about her.

There aren't very many activities for 6 year olds to take part in at our house. In fact the only thing we really have to work with is the fact that we have cartoon network. Which isn't exactly what it used to be. But Alex happily hangs out with me as I get ready for work. He happily sits on the couch with me as I read or have a quiet time. I have no idea why he chose Lauren and I to have as best friends but he chose us. There aren't many things that 23 year old females have in common with 6 year old boys. I guess he is into older women or something....which is okay and I cant blame him because I have recently discovered I'm into older men ;) ha

But the best part about my friendship with Alex is that he is a child. He talks like a child he acts like a child. He asks questions that a child would ask and its all okay because he is a child.

Here is what is amazing.... he asks about God.

Somehow him hanging around us Alex began to notice that a lot of what we do involves this guy called God. Like the fact that we aren't home on Sundays because we go to church to learn about God. Or that we aren't home on Mondays or Wednesdays because we go teach about God. He calls the bible the "God book" which is pretty appropriate if you ask me.

He has never heard about God. Nothing. Zip. Zelch. Zero.

It blows my mind. When I was six I at least knew the name of Jesus. I knew that there was a place called Heaven.

But Alex knew not a thing.

So one day he was hanging out with me by the pool. I was reading my God book. He wanted me to hurry up and finish so I would swim with him. I wanted to keep reading because my favorite thing to do is have a quiet time by the pool. But I saw he was growing impatient so I began to wrap up my journal writing. And then he asks me "Whitney who is God".....

I was stumped. I never had to explain that before. I never had to start from nothing when describing God and I saw what was happening. I felt the weight of my answer. It had to be good! this was it!

So I said God is our creator.He created the whole world! He created you and he created me and he loves us very much.

and then he asked me where he lived and how come he had never met him.

I pointed to the sky and said he lives up there in a place called heaven.

This information really threw him off

"So he has like a spaceship?" Alex asked with certainty.

"No he doesn't need a spaceship." I explained

He tried to correct me "Actually I am pretty sure he does if he lives up there"

and the flow of questions kept coming.....

then I told him that he God also lives in our heart...he responded with a look that without words said "there ain't noway Im falling for that crap."

Then we dropped the subject and went swimming. But everyday sense then I get to talk to him a little bit more about God. I tell him how I pray for him to grow up and be happy and healthy.

I guess my point is this. I am honored. I am so happy and so pleased that I get to be one of the first people to tell Alex about God, about Jesus, about how Christmas isn't supposed to be about presents. I am so happy that Alex is 6 and I am going to get to pray for him through elementary school and through middle school...through high school and also college.

I am honored that God would put such a task in front of me.

I am happy to have a friend in a 6 year old boy named Alex.

He once told me that my blood is the most precious blood on earth. (after careful analysis with a lego) and that he was gonna have to protect me from the Jeti who were gonna stop at nothing to try and kill me.

I can't wait to tell him what the blood of Jesus did for him, and how Jesus will stop at nothing to let him have life the way God designed for him too, and how Jesus thinks that he is the most precious thing in the world... I am starting to think he is too :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

With gratitude I look to you

God, thank you for the blessings you pour down...

Lord, thank you for friendships that aren't easily shaken....

Thank you for experiences that will never fade in my memory....

Thank you for letting me see your glory......
Thank you for loving me and showing me how to love as you do.....
Thank you that your love goes full circle....
Thank you for letting me see your kingdom grow, and letting me be a part of it.....
Thank you that you have a plan for us all that goes beyond our own dreams....
Thank you for creating joy, laughter, and happiness
Thank you that you know better than we do.....
Thank you for delighting in us....
Thank you for being my Bottom Line and my For All Time =)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Today was a lesson in understanding for me.

I learned that life will always be full of situations that we wont be able to prepare ourselves for. Their will be moments that will take us completely by surprise.

But I guess the most important thing to remember through times like these is:

How will we react?

Will we trust in God? Will we love unconditionally? Will we allow ourselves to be consumed by our desires to understand?

Today I learned that there is a very fine line that separates us from each other. Although we seem so different from one another we are all one in the same. Designed in love and reconciled with grace.

Our battles are not the same but they are similar.

Our hearts are designed for all the same reasons.

Monday, April 20, 2009

There always seems to be a moment in everyday where I stop and just realize how desperate I am need of Jesus. I just stop and think how desperate I am in need of a savior. I just don't have what it takes to be the person that I want to be. I don't have enough time to invest in people. I don't have the right kind of passion to change anything about the neighborhood I live in..let alone the world. I can be so impatient with people. I can be so selfish with my time and my money and I fall so short of the person I want to be.

But in Jesus I am fulfilled. In Jesus, some how, I am made worthy.

Through his eyes WE are precious. Through his eyes WE are priceless.

Because of him we can now live. Because of him we have seen what love is supposed to look like...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Hanging by a moment

I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep up with posting blogs..
but Blog spot is nice on those days when you have some things to say even if no one is listening.
Thank you internet frenzy for being my release.

Well in just 5 days I will be on my way to Mexicali. God has slowly been preparing my heart. I know this because I seem to cry just a little bit more than usual. This shows that God is breaking down my heart for what will be in store for me in Mexico.

I am so grateful and thankful to have an opportunity like this. Its crazy because there is such a mess going on down in Mexico right now but it doesn't phase me. Every time I bring up my trip in random conversation I am constantly being advised not to go. But the truth is it just makes me want to go more. Not because I'm a rebel and a laugh in the face of danger. Its because I feel like I am gonna get more God. It is gonna take more faith from me it is gonna require more trust in God. I know that God wouldn't call me to build a church in Mexico only to destroy me. I feel like it is more important for me to go now then it has ever been before. And the worst thing that could possibly happen will only put me face to face with the creator of the universe....which actually is my ultimate desire.....so I guess either way I cant go wrong.

I have had a rough few months and I am so looking forward to just focusing on the Lord. Serving him by serving his people. I just want to love. I just want to pick up little children and tell them that Jesus loves them. And sweat until I cant stand straight. I want to be pushed beyond my limits. I want leave a mark in Mexico, not my mark but the mark of Jesus. I want to tell of his glory and his love. I want to tell people I have never met how Jesus has saved me and that he longs to rescue them as well...and he already has. I want to be consumed by the love of my father. I want to watch his kingdom grow.
I want to meet people in mexico that I will never see again...... until I watch them walk through the gates of heaven.

Lord take this life of mine and let it be yours. May the reason for my life be only to make your son famous. With all my heart soul and strength I am yours.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

It turns out that I extremely enjoy playing guitar. Extremely as in makes my heart skip beats and it is all I think about all day every day...goodness I wish I new this earlier in life.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

You know it is so funny....I don't think I have been more confused and lost about a situation as much as I am right now. I feel like a big dummy.....I'm 23 years old I thought life would make so much sense by now...I was so off. I wish there weren't so many colors in a world I always expect to be black and white. Can I really ask for that and would I even mean it if I were to say it out loud. What the heck does that even mean.

You know God you have totally thrown me for a loop in this one. Father I just pray that you guard or hearts...because it seems like someones is about to get broken and I would rather it be mine....which I feel like it kind of is. either way I will loose.

I will have nothing to count as loss because Lord you truly are all I will ever need.

Is that the lesson you are trying to teach me? Nothing on this earth will ever measure up? No person, no idea, no place, no future thoughts or presents situations on earth will ever bring me pure joy....because God I get that. I have learned that.

Can I go on a fast from boys...tell them I don't want to talk to them because I feel like I am lying to them both...and that God can't be telling both of them the same thing about me because you aren't telling me anything about them at least directly. Why do I let my heart get so involved in life? Why do I ramble on the internet. Why didn't my mother name me Madison after a street name instead of Whitney which is after a famous crack head with a few hit singles.

I love life really I do.

God I trust you. God my hope is only in you I know that you have a plan and a purpose and a reason for all things...even if I can't understand...even if it is hard to handle. I will never give up on you I will never doubt you....I just pray that when I stand in heaven with you....you will know how much I love you and how hard a sought to know you more.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

I appreciate free will I really do. I have been completely transformed by grace because of it. I know the difference between living life by the worlds standards and then living life by Gods plan and purpose.

However now that I know that I was not meant to go at life alone, and now that I know that life with the Lord will surpass my wildest dreams I wish I could give my free will back.

Is there like a customer service counter around here that will allow me to trade in my free will for God's perfect will? That way I won't have to worry about getting caught up in making wrong decisions.

I am half serious and half kidding about this.

Love you Lord

Friday, January 2, 2009

God thank you that you always seem to find me. You always keep my heart in check and spirit at ease. Lord never let me lose my sight of you. I thank you so much for the many blessings you pour down on me God. Help me see my life situation as you do. Help me to have patience with waiting for your plan to unfold. Dear Lord delight in my life. Please continue to reveal your face to me. Thank you that every year I become closer and closer to you. Please continue to transform my heart and to make it more like your sons. God give me courage and give me strength give me vision for your kingdom. Bring me daily upon my knees in awe of you. You amaze me daily. Your love for me goes beyond my comprehension. I have never nor will I ever love another as I love you Lord.

God thank you for friends I pray that you continue to work in the friendships you have blessed me with. I pray that you continue to bless us with fun times. Our personalities really compliment each others and it is wonderful. But God I pray that you call us to a higher standard of friendship I pray that you call us to be warriors for your kingdom. I pray that when we are gathered together we are filled with your spirit. I pray that you lead us into caring only about your kingdom. I pray that through are numbers, we can move mountains and see lives transformed. I pray that the lost are drawn to the love we demonstrate to each other because of you. Lord use our bond to bring you glory. Protect us from anything that would stand in your way. Let our lives be only about you Lord...it is always only about you.

Be with Lauren and Chase as they learn more about each other. Call them to your purpose. Call them to bring glory to you. Delight in them and let them tell the nations about your love. Let them stay safely on your path. DO not let them stumble do not let them loose sight of who they are meant to be in Christ, when they are together and when they are apart.

Father I lift Allie and Omar to you. I thank you that you have there hearts and that there love for each other was stemmed from their love for you. Continue to bless their marriage. Keep them safe. Call them to set the world on fire for you. I pray that while they take time away from YL that you still install in them a passion that burns for your kingdom. Keep them in your perfect plan for their lives. I pray that when people see how much they love each other they notice that that love came from loving you first.

Okay God are you ready for the big one?

Lord more then anything this year my hearts deepest desire is to see Courtney come to know you. I am so grateful for her friendship. She is so sweet and delicate. You have given me such a heart for her God and I love that she is such a big part of my life. But God I pray so much...so very much that this year....some way or some how....she will get a glimpse of the love that you have for her. She knows about you. She knows about Jesus.....but she really has no idea. She has never felt your spirit God. I know this because if she would have she would be all yours.If she was able to feel even an ounce of your love for her she would realize it was what she has been missing all this time. TJ is coming home and I am so afraid for her. I really just want her to have the best life possible and I know the only way for that to happen is if she comes to know you first. I feel like I suck at life because she can't see you though me. But if she can't see you through my life please bring her to a place where she will be able to see you. I see myself in her so much. I see you in her...but she just doesn't get it. There is something in her heart that prevents her form seeing past the things of this world and it breaks my heart. so God please move in a mighty way. Please stop at nothing to bring her home. God please give her vision of what life with you would be like. god use me in what ever way necessary to bring her to your arms. I want her to see what the world won't let her. Pull all distractions God. Draw her to you Lord. I'll be on my knees for this all year lord. Transform her life......=) and don't let me freak her out when i talk about Jesus.

I love you with my life Lord