God your Graciousness feeds my soul.
You know I sometimes try to use the example of how my life was before I started following Jesus compared to how my life is now,when i try to explain what it has been like to follow Jesus. I have to say that my life the past few years have been amazing, but thats not even what it is about.
Where I have been and who I once was, doesn't even phase me. Words I have said, people I have hurt, actions that I have taken.....I forget that they were lived out by me. Looking back on it I think that anyone in the world would look at where I've come from, and wonder how I sleep at night...and then wonder what the heck happen to that crazy selfish girl I once was. I was so lost. I was so dumb. I was out of control.
I remember all the things that happened, but I no longer feel accountable for them. When I made the decision to let God lead me in life I was freed. I didn't even realize that was gonna happen. I thought God was gonna help me deal with it and turn away from who I once was...but I never imagined that I would feel so pardoned. Restoration is priceless, and completely undeserving.
I remember everything and when I think back on how life was and who I was..... I feel how God must have felt when I was there. Like I feel how broken his heart was...its very strange...but it is also incredible.
I can't really explain it. I am terribly grateful.
God please continue to use my life to tell the world about your son and your amazing and unfailing love. My heart will forever be yours